Friday, August 1, 2008

Some Friday Thoughts

I’m having a moment. I have a nagging desire to live three stores up, with hardwood floors, high ceilings, and an old cracked window in the bathroom. I long to be sitting in a warm bath, reading a novel, while some slow, soft music drifts from a few doors down.

And some afternoons I long to be sitting in Luxembourg park, skimming a magazine, Lula perhaps. All the people around me moving, coming and going, breathing, and I’d just sit there, occasionally looking up to see them pass.

Some nights, most nights like last, I crave to go out walking along side the water way. Just to hear the sound of French accents and laughter and to see all the bright lights. I’d walk to meet friends, and we too would spend the night together, talking, laughing, sharing ideas, and exchanging secrets.

Truth be told, I miss Paris. I’ve missed it since I realized I had to leave it. It eats away at me, occasionally making my current conditions feel less valuable than they are. I know my thoughts are not rational, but you might say “I am caught up in a love affair,” with Paris that is.

I know I am not the first, hundredth, one millionth to love such a city. But the nagging longing to be back their starts to gnaw away at you, it taxes you, and takes its toll.

Paris fit. Something about it was comfortable. Like when you crawl into bed at night and your head touches the pillow. It’s the warmth beneath the blanket, the cushion embracing your head. Paris just felt right.

I know I am romanticizing, making and creating a fantasy of Paris in my head.

Maybe someday . . . we could have a second home, a small studio apartment for long summer stays. God knows, we will never move there, of all things Paris has to offer, it is missing one of the greatest things of all . . . Oakland A’s Baseball.

What can I say, maybe I am an American after all, what ever that means.

p.s. Pia posted some soundscapes from Paris on her blog. This is about the closest I am going to get to Paris for now.


Skolefrøken Sansibar said...

I am not sure this is any help at all, but have you checked out possibilities for house exchange in Paris? I at least find that I don't really get the feeling of living a place until I have my own place there. And from what it seems, what you want isn't the regular plane and hotel- weekend get away? In any case, just a thought...

Have a great weekend, in any case!

Miss Sansibar

The Lil Bee said...

Such a pretty photo. I can imagine why you'd be homesick. I think Miss Sansibar's idea is lovely.

Fifi Flowers said...

How sad... I feel the same way about longing for Paris and the fantasy life... for me painting on street corners... and how sad I did not win the cheese plate :(
So where can one get such a cheese plate... I truly love it and would like to purchase one... eat a lovely French cheese... sip a glass of French red wine and dream!
Paris Dreams Forever!

mary said...

I have never been to Paris but I know the feeling of being somewhere where you just "fit". I hope you can get back there again someday. :)

ccerruti said...

When you find your home, even if its miles away, you always feel it tugging you back with its sights, sounds, tastes, and memories. Its been four years since I moved from Bordeaux and I miss France everyday.

nadia said...

I love this post, it toyed with my heart strings i have cravings such as this daily but you put in words so beautifully.

stacy said...

Fifi - I got the cheese plate at an antique store in Seattle. I'll keep my eyes out for others.

coco+kelley said...

ohhhh... you just made ME miss paris! actually, i miss italy. that's pretty much how i feel about it as well - it just fits me. the lifestyle, the people, the art (oh, the art!) and the wine and the food...

but i too, would miss baseball :) i guess we'll both just have to dream!