Thursday, June 4, 2009

going up in smoke

I smoked. A habit I picked up in college, one might say. I was living in San Francisco, going to school, and trying to meet people. The easiest way to start a conversation was to ask for a cigarette. And it worked.

My first roommate after living in the dorms I met because of smoking. We both smoked Parliament Lights on the step of our Castro apartment. The guy at the corner store would save the buy-two-get-one-free packs for when we came in. We'd take our cigarettes home, sit outside on the cement steps, and talk. Mindlessly chain smoking most of the time, hours of conversation passed along with packs of cigarettes.

I met my first friend in Sacramento smoking. I'd moved back to my hometown to finish up my degree and met Megan in poetry class. We'd smoke cigarettes at the coffee shop and write lame poetry. Starting with a blank piece of paper, we'd take turns writing line after line, until pages filled up. Our cigarette boxes would run empty.

I quit smoking, because I smoked too much. Really. I went out dancing with a girl friend, smoked at least 3 packs, went back to her place, smoked more inside her place, and woke up with my eyes burning and feeling nauseated. That was it.

It's been 4 1/2 years, and it still smells good and looks sexy in photos. But my lungs thank me.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

So glad you quit. Happy Lungs!

*L said...

kudos on giving it up~

diane said...

You are a healthy influence. There should be a Happy Lung Day, don't you think?

Micaela said...

i was so against smoking... and then i fell in love with a man who smoked nearly a pack a day. i moved in with him for awhile... and i picked it up. The worse thing he ever gave me.

someday, i hope to stop smoking like you. thanks for sharing!!!

Hanako66 said...

it does look sexy....but good for you:)

amy b.s. said...

i miss it too. last night as i sipped a glass of wine on my patio i swear all i could think about was if i had a smoke, it would be a perfect evening. sad.

Black said...

Good for you! I know there is something appealing and even sexy and stylish about smoking, especially when we see those awesome French fashion ladies smoking, but it's better having your lungs healthy.

Lauren said...

agreed. I quit three years ago when i met my husband.. Basically I hate cigars, and he smoked them.. He hates cigarettes and I smoked them.. So i told him no more cigars and I'll stop smoking cigarettes.. it's been difficult, but I've quit and feel better too. It's amazing how you still get cravings so many years later.

Lilith said...

I guess no one can actually penalize you for smoking. Back then, the whole world was smoking up a storm. It was a common ground for everyone. Quiting is a good choice. I'm glad you did.

Nicole Marie said...

wow good for you! i always thought it would be so much easier to make friends if i was a smoker, but i think my lungs are much happier that i didn't

DolceDreams said...

I hear you. I smoked for years, only a pack a day but I loved it. Nothing like a cigarette after a good meal... I tried everything to quit, hypnosis, etc etc. Finall y one day I went cold turkey. It lasted eight years, until one summer my cousin came to visit from Paris with all of her skinny model friends who chain smoked...it was so chic and oh just one started it all off again. I then smoked for another ten years until after I got married and knew I wanted a baby, and, again, I went cold turkey to cleanse my body to create new life. It has been nine years now...occasionally I really miss it and want it but I am so grateful to be giving years of life to myself, and to not need it. It is nice to dramatize and think it is sexy, but the reality is that it kills.
And those are my thoughts on smoking! GOOD for you for keeping up the strength.

Clarity said...

Good post, well done on chucking the habit. Your body is a gift that can do without the tar.

smith said...

Considering the long term benefits of smoking cessation such as low risk of succumbing to cancer, a significant reduction in mental stress, odorless breath et al, it is definitely necessary for you to start your quit smoking regimen as soon as possible. However, during the first few weeks, it may appear extremely difficult to get rid of this addiction, but as you consistently try to quit smoking for a certain period of time, your smoking cessation efforts would yield results.