Monday, May 25, 2009

coming to a new conclusion

You ever have a day when you are in desperate need of inspiration? A break from reality? A moment of calm?

My past two weeks have been a reality check, a rude awaking as some might say. I have spent the last two weeks going from anger to understanding, from fear to frustration. Being unemployed for the first time in years, my reality feels as though it has been subjected to a rather brutal shock therapy treatment. One of which was not of my choosing, free will, or desire. Every day something new has come up, what feels like an "f-you, now deal with this." This is exactly what my previous employer must have thought when she decide to short me 1/3 of my final paycheck.

But after going round and round in my head, I have come to one conclusion - I must let go. You see, I could go crazy with the yo-yo feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But they only hurt me. And feeling nuts about my circumstances changes nothing. "This" is my current situation. And I’ve decided instead of wallowing in it, I will rise to meet it, grow stronger because it, and with time soar above it.

I came to terms with all of this last Thursday. And so, with my new self awareness, I took myself to Whole Foods, purchased some groceries (thanks to my husband), and made Pia's risotto. I found a peace in the 45 minutes it took me to cook. I stared out my kitchen window, found a simple pleasure in my withering peony, and just let go.

11 comments:

Ashley B said...

Cooking is so much more than just feeding yourself. I'm glad you were able to find some peace in it. Let's do it together!

sisters in black frocks said...

good luck to you. sometimes a soothing meal and a plant is very healing

Katherine Lee said...

What a wonderful post my dear. I definitely find zen in cooking. Putting all these totally separate and disparate ingredients together to create a harmonius whole; there's something extraordinarily comforting in that process. Good luck lovely!
xo Katherine aka. Urban Flea :)
www.urbanfleadesign.com

thefatandskinnyonfashion said...

you're laid off. i can't find a job. good luck to you. i hope you become inspired or find something better.

diane said...

Bravo for moving on in a positive way, because I know that was a really hard thing to do.

Apt. #34 said...

we have to get lunch and catch up - on me!

Hanako66 said...

I hope that things turn around for you soon!

ting-wai said...

follow the universe. everything happens for a reason.

morningelectric said...

i'm in the same unemployed boat for the first time in my life and am feeling exactly the same. hopefully it's all for the best, but for now there's little better than getting lost in the kitchen for a while.

allie said...

I'm sorry all this is happening to you -- but something more wonderul will come up. Keep on writing! See you in July!

heather jenkinson said...

Ouch. Well, nearly 3 years ago, I was fired from my job and after 3 weeks of feeling somewhat shell shocked, I started my own business. It's hard work but I wouldn't have it any other way - really, they did me a big favour!

This is a perfect time to have a rethink, change can be so good for you. In fact, in trying circumstances, I ask myself 'am I having a breakdown or a breakthrough?' - it reminds me that I have a choice...

Love your blog.

p.s. I love Pia's blog too!