coming to a new conclusion

You ever have a day when you are in desperate need of inspiration? A break from reality? A moment of calm?

My past two weeks have been a reality check, a rude awaking as some might say. I have spent the last two weeks going from anger to understanding, from fear to frustration. Being unemployed for the first time in years, my reality feels as though it has been subjected to a rather brutal shock therapy treatment. One of which was not of my choosing, free will, or desire. Every day something new has come up, what feels like an "f-you, now deal with this." This is exactly what my previous employer must have thought when she decide to short me 1/3 of my final paycheck.

But after going round and round in my head, I have come to one conclusion - I must let go. You see, I could go crazy with the yo-yo feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But they only hurt me. And feeling nuts about my circumstances changes nothing. "This" is my current situation. And I’ve decided instead of wallowing in it, I will rise to meet it, grow stronger because it, and with time soar above it.

I came to terms with all of this last Thursday. And so, with my new self awareness, I took myself to Whole Foods, purchased some groceries (thanks to my husband), and made Pia's risotto. I found a peace in the 45 minutes it took me to cook. I stared out my kitchen window, found a simple pleasure in my withering peony, and just let go.